May 2, 2018 Sean

The scAvengers!


Trampoline exists as a team of dedicated designers, wordsmiths, strategists and production pros. We’ve grown at a carefully managed pace over 15 years and have a specific process that delivers results for our clients. We work hard, and love what we do—and it shows.

It’s not always that way in our industry. We’re aware of other approaches, arrangements and outcomes because we hear about them; from clients, potential and longstanding, industry allies and vendors. There are some risky bets where communication is concerned.

These Inaction Figures set poor precedents in our forum, so we’ve done our own surveillance on seven different creative counterfeits, graphic grifters and mountebank marketers.

The Visionary:

You’ll recognize this walking idea guy because he’s wearing a blazer, holding his hands together with fingertips touching, and cocking an eyebrow at an open laptop. He’s putting the finishing touches on a presentation with slides that include pictures of the planet, watermarked stock photos and statistics.

Be ready for pointless stories that end with questions and include pauses…for dramatic effect. Count along as they make a list on their fingers! Alias: Thoughtleader

The Guru:

Gurus know that the first step to elevate themselves professionally is a bullshit moniker. Well-positioned as a guide, Gurus elevate discussions to an intellectual level, where absolutely nothing is accomplished, but much is discussed.

Imaginary marketspeak like synergy or paradigm shift create obstacles where none existed previously. Be sure to jot down their inspirational business “quote” before booking your next session. Code Name: The Maven

The Collabro:

This dude is keeping it lit. Always ready to link, always tryna build.

Despite burning through those 250 Vistaprint business cards, momentum remains elusive. Assembling teams of specialists on a per-project basis seems like an innovative model, in reality it’s a scheduling nightmare.

With a phantom support staff, Collabro ends up doing a lot alone. Yet, even in the face of limited resources, no potential project will be refused. After all, he knows a design student who will probably do it just for the exposure.

Good Time Charlie:

At happy hour, the salvo comes from your immediate left, “Put that one on my tab.”

A quarter turn, and you’ve lost the evening to Mr. Charisma. He’s on a first name basis with the wait staff and has absolutely nowhere to be.

He’s comfortable asking questions to collect the information needed to build consensus through conversation. Good Time Charlie lives up to his name, he’s agreeable, and puts his big laugh to use, making it clear What A Fun Time We Are Having.™ Don’t forget to use a coaster on any barroom deal, they’re usually all wet. AKA: “The Consultant”

The Hypographer:

Designer clichés exist for a reason. Certain creative professionals value style above all else.

These Pantone™ unicorns don’t give a damn whether it works, “Just look at how beautiful this is!”

Their artistic opinion has made a long journey from under a slouchy knit cap, past boho chunky eyewear, and through a sloppy-yet-somehow-intricate scarf. Their masterpieces are completed, only to be critiqued by a client who has concerns about type size, contrast issues, and whether or not the work actually, ahem, works.

The Designbot:

For those looking to save some serious Bitcoin, consider an online, virtual, digital, futuristic, artificially-intelligent way to create terrible content.

The Name Dropper:

Laser connected, and ready to mingle, the Name Dropper knows them all. Or, has a friend who does.

They have worked with celebrities, magnates, heads-of-state, alien emperors and everyone that you know.

Easily identified by membership lapel pins. Alias: the Story-Topper

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